Life, death, Astros!

Life, death, Astros!

Yesterday and today, I was at a conference in Houston.  Although I wasn’t too sure about the conference, it turned out to be a blessing.  I got to see a beloved friend, I got to hang out with a long time sister (from another mister) and I was able to watch the Astros during the third game of the World Series.  It’s been a full day and that’s not all.  Today, I had the privilege of celebrating the birth (although at a distance) of my friend’s baby!  It was such a joyful and incredible moment to hear that this little guy had been born and then to see the first pictures of this beautiful baby.  On this same day, I received a sad notice that another friend of mine had lost her father.  An amazing, intelligent and gentle man who had served so many throughout his journey and who came to a point in his journey where he decided to trust in the profound love of the One who calls us each into life!  It was mixed prayer time for me, mourning with a friend as she mourns the loss of her father and rejoicing with other friends as they enter this new and hope-filled part of their journeys.  And then, I get to my room for the night and receive two simple messages of love and support.  Not really understanding why I replied in kind and sent my regards… and then it hit me, eight years ago today, my own life and my family’s lives changed forever as our own dad passed away very, very suddenly.  I had been driving home and was in Trinidad, Colorado when I missed a call from my brother.  As soon as I saw that he had called, I listened to the message and his voice, somber, left a simple message; “Take your time getting back.”  I knew.  The rest of the trip was a long time of driving, pulling over and having my talks with God as I prepared myself to serve my own family as I had served so many others before.  In time, I made it home and the rest of the days seem to melt into one. 

As I reflect on this day, I sit in humility as I think to all the moments of intimacy that I have been privileged to share with so many people along my wild and crazy journey, and hopefully, I will be able to do so for many more years to come and many more lives. 

This past Monday, I was able to sit on a panel for an LGBT+ conference and after all the questions had been asked, I simply said to the people gathered, “Don’t be afraid.  Whatever life throws at you, don’t be afraid.  Walk boldly into every step and celebrate who you are and who God has made you to be!  Shine and let others shine with you.” 

I give thanks to God for the call to serve in this manner, and I hope that in doing so, others will be inspired to serve according to their own gifts and talents because no matter who we are, we each can share love.  Be love.  Be you.  And always remember that You are beautiful, and You are loved! 

For the record, at the writing of this blog, the Astros are leading at the top of the 7^th, 4 to 1!

6 years ago today.

Six years ago today, I woke up a priest with no faculties.  This meant that while I was still recognized as a priest in the Roman Catholic Church, I was not able to work publicly as a priest, or as someone stated it, Jesus will be there, but he just won't be happy about it...  ok.
As I recall, it was a bleak October day.  I honestly don't remember much about that day or that week.  To think back on it now, I honestly don't know how I got through those first few days, especially after 13 years of a life that had been regimented and within a very specific context, and all of a sudden, it was all gone! 
Today, I got up a little late (it is my day off) and sat at my prayer desk as I do most mornings.  I opened my prayer book and my Bible and started my prayer.  All the while, my cat was trying to nudge her way into my left hand, a daily routine she has become very adept at.  After prayer, I took some time to reflect on this day six years ago.  I remembered leaving the rectory and having had to leave the key on the dining room table.  They hadn't wanted me to even go into the office to drop off my key.  They just wanted me gone.  Like some cheap object, I had been discarded and had been told to vacate the premises by 8am that morning. 
I remember looking at the clock in my car as I pulled out of the driveway, 7:58.
Little did I know at that time that while things seemed bleak and cold, just like the weather, my life was only just getting started! 
Today, after sitting with my journal and the memories, I received an email.  I was invited to serve as a pastoral presence at a panel on the LGBTQIA+ Community and Religion.  Of course, I will go! 
I also received three books that I had ordered to help me prepare for a panel that I will be moderating as a Transgender Symposium in November!  Yay book!
All this and then I got to go to lunch with some clergy friends of mine.  We laughed, we joked, we discussed heavy topics and all the while, we were able to celebrate each other's camaraderie.  In the midst of that lunch, I couldn't help but think back to six years ago when I stood alone and afraid, far from being able to laugh and unsure of where life would lead me.  Looking out into a world that seemed so strange to me. 
Today, I serve in a small church, only two blocks from the hospital where I was born.  It certainly hasn't been easy, and Lord knows that there are easier places to serve, but I have no doubt that today, I am more who God has always known me to be because of those decisions six years ago.  Today, I serve with great joy and love and I stand here for anyone who, like me 6 years ago, feels as though they too are alone and afraid.  I am here today, to stand with those who may feel as though their world is coming to an end, and I promise to keep serving with love so that anyone who feels like I once did, may know that I will walk with them.  I am here to serve so that anyone feeling alone, may know that they are not alone.  I am here to attest that although there are times when it feels as though things are falling apart, very often, they only lead to something bigger and better and just as my world didn't fall apart, neither will yours!  Today, I am here to walk with you, and all along the way, I will remind you that You are beautiful and You are loved! 
Because you are!
Because I am!
Because we always will be!