To listen

 Greetings, Peace to you and God's blessings.

It has been some time since I last wrote in this blog.  Quite frankly, the time has gotten away from me and this poor little blog had fallen out of sight and out of mind.  

I was recently reminded that I have a blog and that I had not posted anything for some time now.  The reality is that I haven't really posted on any of my social media, at least not to the degree that I once did.  I think this is due in part to the fact that I have been very intentional about writing in my journal at both Morning and Evening prayer.  This has helped greatly and has organized my thoughts and feelings into a place where I am better able to then face the world.  

That being said, however, I thought it would be important to write here today.  Throughout this time of the pandemic, I have been trying to be a minister to people in so many different aspects.  I find that I have been listening more and trying to be present to people on a different level.  Perhaps because of Zoom fatigue or some other result of our physical distancing, I have found that more people approach me and want to be listened to.  Note that I say that they want to be listened to, and not that they want to talk.  As I have found, and perhaps this is not an enlightened idea at all, just a new discovery for me, but more and more I have found that people have stories to tell and want to be heard.  Even those people that we may consider "hateful and rude," yes, even they have stories, and sometimes listening to them helps bring about a different result from yelling back.  This intentional listening has been challenging for me, and more than that, it has moved me to really put my money where my mouth is.  As you may know, I often share my little saying with people "You are beautiful. You are loved."  This is a truth that I discovered about myself and one that I want to share with others, but handing out a cute little quip is one thing, what does it look like to actually sit and give someone a space to share their story, how do I love a person whose only understood way of communicating is by yelling?  Honestly, I don't know, but then again that is where love comes in.  In love, I believe that I am meant to sit with another person and if becoming a pin cushion for them is what it takes for them to realize that I love them, then so be it.  I think St. Paul may have done something to this effect when he spoke of being "all things for all people." (1 Corinthians 9:19-23) I especially wonder about this as I see more people on the news looking at each other in anger and suspicion.  Now, don't get me wrong, this does not mean that I will not stand for that which is right, I certainly will and I believe that love demands that I do so, what I mean, though is that instead of falling into an endless cycle of gratuitous yelling, I believe that I am being called to listen.  I want to listen and that is what I hope to do.  In loving, I shall listen, and maybe, in the grand scheme of things, all we need to do is listen to others and share our stories.  

Someone asked me today if I ever get tired of listening to people share their stories, I simply said "no."  I want to listen and maybe in listening, the world will be changed just a little bit.  

As always, thank you for your time and know that I truly believe it, "You are beautiful. You are loved."

Set our hearts afire...

Peace to you and God's blessings.

This post has been stewing for some time.  Honestly, I have not been able to find adequate words to best articulate the emotions, the thoughts, the feelings, and everything else that I have been carrying this week.  The news of George Floyd was somehow like every other news blurb that comes across the screen on a seemingly daily basis, but for some reason, this one was different.  Maybe it's our collective bursting forth after having been locked away for so long because of Coronavirus, or maybe it is because as a collective people, we are no longer able to stand the news of yet another person of color being brutally killed.  And in all of this, today is Pentecost, the joyous day on which the Church is born!  Joyous...  right, joyous.  Even here in little ol' Odessa, Texas, there were protests.  I, for one, did not attend.  Instead, I chose to sit in prayer and hold up all those who have somehow become involved in this outburst of energy that we are seeing from all across the country.  I sat in silence with my God and pleaded to know how to love.  Even now, as I sit to write these words, I struggle to find the best way to convey what I feel, and I can only hope that whatever my response is, that it will be made in love, for love, and with love.  I was once told by one of the kids at school that all I ever talk about is "love, love, love, love, love," and yes, he was absolutely correct.  But what does it mean to love?  What does it mean to respond to the recent events, with love?  I cannot presume to know the answer and as I have already mentioned, I feel as though I don't have the adequate words to articulate my thoughts, but love is that act that stands in the face of fear and dispels those lies that so often lead us to react in ways that are unhealthy and even deadly.  Love is the action of intentionally choosing to recognize the fear around us and to respond in ways that bring about change, not through force and aggression, but through the persistent and gentle energy that is love.  Just as the Spirit of God danced through the chaos at creation, so it is that today, we are called upon to welcome the Spirit of God to become our dance partner once again as we face our fears and work toward the change that our world needs.  This is not to say that there is no need for those who stand in protest and witness out on the streets, but violence is never the answer, and much like Lot's wife who chose that which was not of God, violence leads us to places of more fear and ultimately, death.  So what does love look like for me?  It means holding the fear and hurt, the death and destruction, and allowing it to be transformed by the Spirit of Love who beckoned Jesus out of the grave, and who makes holy our daily being.  It means knowing that every moment of today and that each tomorrow are good in the eyes of God who only ever imagines life for us.  It means understanding that at times, a loud voice is required to help usher change, but that those who stand in silence are just as necessary.  Love looks like an action that is inspired by the same Spirit that called forth the Church from among so many people who were so different and yet who binds us together as the Body of Christ.  Love means being able to look upon my neighbor and recognizing that this person is not black or white, but my brother and sister.  Love is standing in truth and knowing that those who would rather promulgate fear and anger are wrong.  Love is knowing that every beat of my heart is in sync with the heart of God who only wants life for each of us.  Love is responding in actions that will inspire change and love is knowing that I am holy as are you.  I wish I could do more than just use these diminished words, but please know that I offer them with a heart that is confident in the love that I have known in Him who is Love incarnate.  And so no matter where tomorrow may lead and no matter what fears may appear before me, I will love and I hope that you will too.

Thank you for your time and please remember that you are beautiful and you are loved. 

RL +